Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Do we need Women's day? When is Men's day?

Tomorrow is Woman's Day. Now is the time when many people try to show their respect for Women. Men and Women alike post videos and articles about how celebrated women should be. They are after all the Martyrs that sacrifice their life and hope and ambitions. For what? To be a dutiful wife, mother and daughter in law. And what do they expect in return, your respect, your acknowledgement, your time! But yet you want to watch your favorite sport on TV, or belittle their art, or sleep in on  a Sunday! How sacrilegious of you to not notice her martyrdom!

Every year there is that one video, one Chetan Bhagat open letter or one picture that makes it to everyone's facebook page, or whatsapp group. There is one such video this year as well. Unfortunately it drives me up the wall. It shows me how little we think of women. How we have not moved forward at all over all these years! What is Woman's day about? Is it a day to thank the women in your life for all the sacrifices she has made? Is it a day to celebrate how truly great she is because she is such a door mat?

Now lets look at the other extreme? Is Women's day the day to celebrate the liberated woman who no longer cares for the family. Is it the day to declare she will no longer be solely responsible for raising her kids. She will no longer be the cook and provider in the household? After all we are all feminists now aren't we?

So when do we celebrate Men's day ? The other 364 days in the year?

Why do we need to "liberate" women? Why do we have to celebrate their "sacrifices"? Only because we suppress them. We expect them to give up their hopes and dreams for us right? Because we judge them, define what we term as success for them. Force fit them into these martyr shoes that don't want to fit.

You can be a woman or a man. If you are a parent, teach your kids about gender equality and not about liberating woman. Teach your kid that choosing a day to remember a woman is teaching him to forget the rest 364 days. Teach your son's that there will come a day to pick roles in the household. They should be picked because of interests and likes. Not because you are a man or a woman. Teach your daughter that she is equal to any man or woman. But that does not mean she needs to be a man. She needs to embrace herself and her uniqueness and be what she wants to be. If she wants to be a caregiver thats her choice. As is being a Corporate Moghul. Be comfortable in your skin that is what is important.

We dont need a day to  be patronized or celebrated or validated. We need a day, every day to be who we are without being judged. Be empowered my dear girls. Conquer the world!

Starting today teach your son's and daughter's gender equality not women's liberation. Lets move towards not having to celebrate "Woman's Day". Every day is Human day!

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

In a league of her own

I am re-learning parenting this time around. None of the parenting tricks I have learnt works, and re-learning is not an option. No parenting book or self help website is of any use with this new brand of kid we have produced. For Tootsie is truly in a league of her own!

But life never lacks for entertainment. Thats a given. We get these elaborate feminist notes taped on our wall. Be it about the fact that "Boys are not allowed in our room.. except Daddy and boys that sometimes need to sleep in the room"

Or a venn diagram about the likes and differences between gingr bred man and grl! Here is a picture

Yes kindergartener's are being taught about venn diagrams. And my little pixie thought this was a good opportunity to put together some feminist thoughts. After all she is the kid who turned every rhyme to the feminine gender. We can't let boys have all the fun can we?

How do you make friends? For years I have taught my kids to be friendly. If you see a kid who doesnt have a friend, go be friendly. If you see a new kid at school be her friend. Always pick the right thing to do.. and blah, blah and blah.

So guess what Ms. Firebrand does when she sees a kid sitting by herself on the ground

Mom I saw this girl sitting by herself on the playground. So I went and asked her "Are you new?"
She said "Yes"
I asked "Do you have any friends?"
The girl said "No"

At this point you would assume the obvious. But here is where we are in a league of her own

Tootsie "So I told her ...let me teach you how to make friends. You walk up to someone who you want to play with and ask 'Hi can I be your friend. What would you like to play'. And then you just play what they like to play"

The clueless mom ofcourse had to ask "But Tootsie couldnt you be her friend? Maybe include her in your game?"

Tootsie "No mom I have my friends I want to play with"

So there we have the whole concept of lead the horse to the water down pat!

And there is more. One day Tootsie comes up to me and says "Mom is that a need or a want?" So now everytime I want something I am asked "Is that a need or a want?" Everytime she needs something "Its a need". But I need toys, how else will I play? And when I explained to her what need and want really is she changes that to "But I need toys to grow smarter"

Sigh!! This little fire brand has us dancing to her tunes! She has us fumbling at parenting and giving up.. we are just guided by the little missy.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

5 yr old truant!

Cheeky is growing.. He is now 11 years old! 11 years old and head spinning busy. The kid loves every sport there is, is good at academics but treats that as his last priority. So ofcourse he is the tiger mom's nightmare. He wants to become a UFC fighter and trains for it like he means business! Not for the faint hearted let me tell you that!

So for this birthday I decided my busy kid needs a little break. So we were going to play truant and take a mom and son day. Cheeky loved the idea convinced dad it would be a mom, dad and son day just no sister! Well it is his birthday, so we agreed and all was set. Till the bday dawned. The little monster caught a whiff of the plan.

Day of, she woke up and could barely speak. Looked tired and with a nasal tone said "Mom I am so sick". We knew what was going on here, but she is 5 yrs old. So we gave her some credit, gave her a doze of cold medication (she did have a cold) and tucked her back into bed. After I was overheard calling the school to tell them she was out sick we heard the little rascal bounding down the corridor. "So guys lets go get the cake" she squealed!

The day was a whirlwind of fun.. now armed with both kids we went to the park, ate out, hit the bounce house, had an icecream cake and finished the day off with a movie! Never again is Tootsie going to let us plan a Mom and Son day! I did get a confession from her "I did not want to miss out on the fun activities" she says swinging upside down from the play structure!

What are we going to do when this kid turns 15.. she claims she doesnt understand what the word "fib" means but we dont believe a word of what comes out of that innocent face!