Friday, September 21, 2012

I am proud of my choices! Are you?

I want to write this while I am still unemployed technically! Ever so often people would ask me "So what do you do?" and I would say "I am unemployed". They look shocked like I just insulted Me! And they overdo it! "Hey don't say that! You are a home maker! I know how hard that is!!" this guy tells me! His wife is a "Home Maker" too!
"You wouldn't call me that if you saw my home" I tell him
"Hey taking care of 2 kids is hard work" he says. I am thinking "Hey dude why are you defending my life choice?" but I say "Really, you would think! I point at my daughter with her messy hair and gooey face!!"
So all you stay at home moms out there! Is it just me or do you find this kind of talk patronizing? I don't care saying I am unemployed! Hey I made this choice and am proud to accept responsibility for it!
I spend some of my days running around my house chasing a 2 yr old! Its not hard work, its fun! I spend my afternoons listening to playground tales that my 8 yr old shares. I cook everyones favorite dish for dinner some days! I watch my favorite tv shows, read a book and catch a movie! Hey I am a bum some days! But guess
what I am a content bum!

I know things will change soon when I get back to work! I am going to feel guilty and miss this time. So I am going to have fun and enjoy it! I. In the process if I have a messy house who cares? I am having fun and that is important to Me!!! Is that so wrong? I am blessed that I can afford to be unemployed and I thank god for that! Let me have my simple pleasures of being jobless!! Don't patronize my choice!!

Now the flip side! Before that let me say my husband thinks I feel that way because I know the unemployment is by choice and not forced! I know I can go back to work when I choose too, so I am not dark and dreary!! :p Lol!!!!

Where was I ? Yes the flip side! Working women! I admire them, because guess what I have done that! I know what it takes to perform that juggling act. I know how guilty it feels and how tired you get! Give yourselves a pat for doing it! However I see these women who think they are successful just because they have a career and someone else doesn't!
Philosophically it makes me think! Are we out there chasing a mirage? I was talking to this middle aged lady recently. She is in the US watching her grand kids. Her daughter's in law will be here next. Apparently for a month in between there will be no one to support! She said "I asked my daughter to take a month off and she said I am not a stay at home Mom kind of person!" This lady said it with pride! But I was taken aback. So you are saying you have better things to do than spend time with your child? You made the choice to have the child, accept the responsibility that comes with it! And this is not just for women! So don't think I am not judging you men out there chasing careers!! I am
Sitting on my high unemployed throne and judging all of you!!

I know most women try really hard! I have friends who break their back and stress out about being perfect and balancing work and home! Some have chosen to work part time, work from home, take salary cuts, take breaks that will affect their career progression and do whatever it takes to make it work!

Now to the real question! Why are the women always judged no matter what? The working woman feels guilty of not being there for her kids (does the man feel guilty? Noooo!!) The stay at home mon feels victimized for not being successful! And most of the times it is one woman judging another!

So tell me what is success? Who defines it? Why can't we celebrate each other's choice and show solidarity? I am proud of having been unemployed! And I will be proud of my choice to work at some point! Are you proud of your choices too?

8 comments:

U-t-h-r-a said...

Think of me pre . I face this question almost every day . "you don't even have kids , why can't you earn atleast instead of wasting time ". till now none seems to accept the answer "I chose to stay at home " . why do I have to explain in the first place . after all its my life .

U-t-h-r-a said...

Think of me pre . I face this question almost every day . "you don't even have kids , why can't you earn atleast instead of wasting time ". till now none seems to accept the answer "I chose to stay at home " . why do I have to explain in the first place . after all its my life .

Sumana said...

Hmm finally so good to read you back. Not i have a question for you sitting on your unemployed throne, Why are you not updating your blog??? We so miss your posts... ;)
So very true na, people always judge the woman no matter what. This not only ends up here but even in case of kids smartness, abilities etc. I have seen this comparisions and feel bad why people droop down so much.

Maha said...

Luv it.....good read...l.regardless of wht u do ppl still find something to ask and poke their nose......end of the day it is our choice.....glad and proud of u that you are able to make that choice and stick to it.....I would do it and two days down the line I would be second guessing myself.....u got some clarity girl!

Sangeetha said...

Yeah, the choice is mine - to be or not to be, a working woman. However, the decision to quit the long loved job is such a tricky moment. Its now that I am catapulted to think of how I raised my little one - missing all her infancy thru' childhood....I deeply regret for those missed days. Sleep does not engluf me any night, without the adorable events of the day with my loving girlie...I am senselessly glad to give my girl all my time.

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Choice is personal ,I guess..Some want to handle it all..Some like you satisfied with what you do..As long as an act brings satisfaction leading to happines..just Do it !!!

Aryan-Arjun said...

People always roam around with free advice...anyways as you said, as long as we don't compare ourself with others and judge others it is fine...

How are your? How are your little darlings?

Aryan-Arjun said...

Hey where did my comment go??

Btw how are you?