I have not been off blogger completely.. I have been reading some wonderfully interesting blogs. It seems to be the season for discussing personalities. High Strung Kids and Shy Meek Kids seem to rule the roost. One particular post really had me shocked - read it here. Its about meek precocious Ruhi. Since when is being shy a crime?I was a kid people probably ran from.. I cornered every stranger and subjected them to an earful of preschool prattle.. never ending as it was, I bet I was feared!! I was high strung that way, I could not stop talking. My sister was this shy kid who hardly talked to strangers had few good friends, and had some really profound thoughts in the confines of our home! To me going on a stage and talking about anything under the sun prepared or not was a no-brainer. Mostly because I don't think I ever gave a thought to making a fool of myself! Needless to say, my sister hated public speaking. And now she blogs!! Talk of a turn - around!
As I grew up I would go through these silent phases every once in a while. It happened when I was working once. For about 2 months I couldn't think of anything interesting to say to this group of friends I had lunch with. And two months later I was back to talking non-stop and shocked them with my volte-face!
Anyway when Cheeky was born it looked like he was going to take after me. He started cooing at 15 days and coo-ed non stop every waking minute! He uttered his first word at 6 months, had no stranger anxiety at 9 months and would go off gallivanting with anyone who would take him. I had to tell all my neighbors that I did not want him to go anywhere without me! Imagine what they thought of me! At 1.5 he started talking in sentences and talked to every stranger on the road. There was no doubt where he got this from! And I of course got no sympathy from the family!!
At 2 this boy picked a fight with a 5 yr old who was taunting him at the play area. I had to drag my son away kicking and screaming! He was like the famous dialogue in Tamil goes "Naan nallavan kku nallavan, kettavan kku kettavan" (I am good to the good, and bad to the bad). He would share and play with the kids but every time the other kid grabbed a toy Cheeky was sure to retaliate! Sometimes I wasn't even sure how to correct this, after all he was just standing up for himself right?
Moving on, at 2.5 my son surprised me.. by becoming shy and sometimes meek! I just could not believe it. He refused to let me out of sight every time he was out playing and there started a down slide. He did it all, hid behind my legs, refused to answer to our friends. There was no way he could be lured to talk to them, not even with candy. There was nothing that would tempt him! Yet at home as most of you know he is the non-stop chatterbox!
Many have commented on his shyness and some can be truly thoughtless in their honest comments! I learnt to take it all with a smile. I think of my sister and what she is today, so this shyness doesn't really bother me!
However I must say that his teachers at school have been very supportive and understanding. They do their best and try hard to get him to his comfort zone. I try to get him to talk enough to be polite at least. And he has made some progress, though not much. When he is with our friends, he answers questions and that is progress. He still does not talk to strangers but that is ok I guess!
There is a surprise factor here. He is very comfortable with kids. He plays with kids his age and older without any trouble at all.. and he will make the first move even! This has been a source of surprise to us and his teachers. They say Nantu is so good with new kids and befriends each of them and plays with them. Last week there was a new kid who bawled every morning as I dropped Cheeky off. As they stepped out into the playground, Cheeky found out that the kid loved to run (big surprise there), so for the full half hour he ran around with the new kid and put him at ease!!! Haha!!
I often wonder how to describe his personality. And most times I am at a complete loss. But then he is being himself.. indescribable Nantu!!
My pediatrician told me once "Nantu is cautious and I think that is a good thing!". I think back of when he would go away with strangers and I believe this is a good thing indeed! I realize I am very lucky to have the support and understanding of his teachers. Shyness is not a personality flaw.. and it upsets me when people think that! Each one of us is different and we need to be appreciative and supportive of this difference in our kids! Thats what makes them unique!
[Edited to add: Some advice for parents with kids like Nantu. I prepare Nantu every time we go out. I tell him what we are going to do there, who he is going to meet and what kind of questions he is going to be asked. For example, we went to the dentist today and I told him she is going to look at his teeth , say hello, maybe ask him his name and age and so on. And amazingly that seems to prepare him enough to open up. He answered all the dentist's questions today, in a low voice but answered it nevertheless. I have found this prep talk to help, you can try it too.]
I have a couple of pending tags, I promise I will get to them in a week or so. I will be vacationing though and like I said earlier I will be around but will be playing peek-a-boo for a while!
Post Update - New one on Creative outbursts - Empowered - A tale about Rani Lakshmi Bai
And another one My Time Capsule - A tale of love and family.