Diaries of a sleep deprived mom!

There was an era ages ago when I could go to sleep and stay asleep through the night.. undisturbed, unruffled, unpushed and my comforter stayed on me till I chose to toss it in the morning.. the day is long gone! My sleepless nights began when I decided to have a kid.. I struggled with insomnia through my pregnancy while I pushed M to the limits as well.. when I turned the air conditioning to dangerously low temperatures and he wore layered clothes and stayed wrapped in blankets in the heat of good old Chennai! Still I found it too warm to sleep.. and kept loitering about the house mumbling to myself and the little thing playing football in my tummy! "How many times do I have to tell you.. that is not a football field.. now do you mind coming out just yet?" No wonder men hold babies like they would a football (I mean American football.. God forbid they started holding it like Indian football aka soccer!)

But I soon found out that the bundle of joy meant more sleepless nights.. only now I wanted to sleep! So I tried to tackle hunger and the loud wails in my sleep .. as a result many a days the water ended up in the box of formula and the box needed to be thrown out the next morning! Finally M started mixing the formula just so he could save some money! I weaned the imp off the night bottle as early as I possibly could.. without seeming inhumane and un-motherly (after all the Indian mothers and grand mom's already eyed me with barely concealed disgust at my mothering skills/ debacles). Anyway, once the imp was weaned I was so ready to have my sleep back.. only he wanted to wake up every time he wet his diaper.. wailing loudly in disgust and anger! At a little over 1, he decided he no longer liked his crib and our nights were intercepted with wailing and crying trips to our bed and back.. till we finally gave up and exiled the crib for good! But that did not solve our sleep deprivation! For even tiny feet can hurt when they kick you in the rib incessantly.. and the tiny hands can haul off the comforter on a cold night!

The toddler bed arrived. There were nights when we would hear loud screams because the blanket had been kicked off and a furious little thing yelled because he was cold! Or one of the dozen stuffed toys in the bed had gone missing.. I would be frantically hunting for a minuscule toy in the dark of the night! 4 years later, you would think I can finally sleep through the night!

But no such luck... I am woken up because of many reasons...
Because someone realized he preferred Sheriff jatti (briefs) to King jatti.. so he wanted to return the Lightning McQueen jatti and get the Sheriff one instead! (Whaa??.. )
Because he decided he doesn't like mommy anymore.. and wants to know why she was being so mean to him in his dream? (Maybe because she hasn't slept in 4 years?)
Because there is no room in his bed! (But we would never consider hauling less than a dozen stuffed toys to our bed would we? Now they have taken over!)
Because there is a cold spot in the comforter!
Because someone no longer likes the much craved for car toddler bed anymore! "I want a bunk bed instead"
Because we wanted GM cereal boxes to have Madagascar toys, but they are no longer available!
Because Mc D stopped giving out Kungfu panda toys!

and the list goes on..

And then there is the crawling into Mommy's bed because of these various reasons... and whispering loudly in her ears.. and if she manages to turn around.. kneeing her in the back! And then when he has finally been successful in kicking mom off the bed, he lets out a sigh and spreads himself.. eagle like and falls asleep! While mommy just has to get herself an extra strong cup of coffee and greet the bright day with her sore back!!
But this mommy has a plan.. tonight, she is going to slip out to the car and curl up in there! Maybe I will even drive to a remote corner and park.. no point in getting busted by the toddler is there?


Pavi!!!! said…
OMG! u two make the cutest mommy-sonny pair i tell u :D The hubby/ father must be having so much of entertainment at home ;)

Do u think ur li'l one will u'stand if u told him that mommy needs sleep to function normally the next day?? :)n mabbe u can even try acting all crazzy n mad on days when u cldnt sleep well?!
I totally agree and empathize. I used to pride myself on being a night owl and now that I crave sleep, I can't! :(
Galadriel said…
argh.. the boyfriend and i are total opposites when it comes to sleep habits, me being a total early-to-bed-person and him being the night owl. but i think between us we've got round-the-clock shifts covered for our future kids. :P
VJ said…
I am going through the same problem too... !!
but my one is not even 4 yrs old.. I am hoping and praying for all the drama to get over soon.. but your post now scares me !..
rm said…
:-) thats a great solution u came up with..hope u have a goooood sleep in the car:-)
~nm said…
HAHAHAHA! This post could very well be every mom's post :D

Too good!
lostonthestreet said…
Motherhood sounds tough.Real tough.No one deprives me of my sleep.No one.........
rayshma said…
how abt mixing a li'l bit of vodka in his drink? m sure he'll sleep like a baby, eh?! ;)
Sandhya said…
Awww and it sounds like a definition of motherhood. Losing your self and making someone else the priority, all the time! :-(
I love my child but I really do crave for those days when I could be my own self.
Subhashree said…
Get some sleep woman. I think your plan is a good one, get in the car now.
Preethi said…
Pavi - you have read so many cheeky tales.. and yet you ask me this question?
MM - Wanna join me? Bring your car!!
Galadriel - Just you wait..
VJ - Yeah we just did not know what we signed up for did we?
rm - yeah I hope so too... I suppose I could book into a hotel!!
NM - Sigh!!
LOS - Now you know.. 4 yrs back no one enlightened me ;)
Rayshma - His? Maybe mine!! :P
Sandhya - It is there.. at the end of that long drive.. just that we haven't experimented there!!
Subashree - here I go.. Wrrr... Zooomm....
Sumana said…
The best solution is to have one more who can give company to the imp and you cna take your nap peacefully!!
Ananthoo said…
you may be legal- i have never seen a sign post saying 'dont sleep and drive' as against 'dont drink & drive':-)
Rambler said…
why don't you crawl into the car bed..am sure he won't disturb you there :)
Rofl !! Cheeky is back in action & I am loving it . . .
Neera said…
Ha ha ha ..every mother's tale indeed and I am told the sleepless nights never end ..we r just 4 years into them ..sigh!
VJ said…
You have been tagged !
noon said…
Hey Preethi - really enjoyed this post! Don't tell me - you really put water into the formula box?! Nice way to get hub to wake up to make formula! Do it or you loose 20 odd bucks! :) And butter fingers - I saw your comment on my post - the no of fractures/minor accidents you ahve had! You must have given your mom sleepless nights! :) And the cycle of life continues! :))
Preethi said…
Sumana - You trying to banish sleep from my dictionary girl?
Ananthoo - Legal?? I am so past caring about legal.. ever seen the movie My cousin Vinny? The guy decides to spend the night in jail so he can get a good night's sleep.. I am so tempted!!
Rambler - Now if only I could fold my arms and legs into a box, then I can fit in :P
Vish - You loving it.. just you wait missy...
Neera - well said!!sigh!!
VJ - Are you serious.. you want that story?? you in for a treat girl!!
Noon - Butter fingers indeed.. I even made a post on it sometime back.. as for the water in the formula, seriously I have done that.. and the hub had to wake up every night and mix the formula :P
Mama - Mia said…

so get him the bunk bed i say! :p

sometimes i CRY because cubby woke me up. at such times M quietly takes over without too much fuss while i give dirty looks to both!

sulo badri said…
Motherhood is tough or what?! U mite probably have a tough time evn now - but i gues its all thru the day than in the night.. esply the questions tht they pour.. my!

myself, an aunt i have witnessed those tyrannic howls.. lol.. man! i dono how my mom managed us.. but, it aint my cup of tea - ever, i think - gud luck sis ;)

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