Wrrrrrr... Zoom.. Bham!!

I know there are some of you out there bring out the clubs to bash me up.. No not story time yet.. I really wish I could sit down and pen some of the tales I gleefully listened to on my rendezvous to the Southern Tip of India. But please accept my apologies when I declare they will have to wait a while. I am about to tell you why.
First I have an unruly son who has now been spoilt rotten by all the attention he got. He is BORED! Aah.. and I thought he did not know how to get bored. Gone is my timid son who would sit in his room for hours and play with his cars and other four/two/one wheeled toys. Now he wants mommy to play with him, or take him out to the park or switch on the TV. When he is not doing any of this he is yelling and running around the house.. often in some language I cant even understand at times.. and even if I did I cant begin to describe! (Pict Courtesy: www.louielouie.net)
I started writing a Nantu update.. its been a while since I last did after all? But what can I say, my son went to the land of freedom it seems like. And he has now learnt the law of survival of the fittest. Its amazing how different kids there behave. If you don't shove you never get your turn... If you don't yell you don't get heard... If you don't go after the bad guys with guns and knives (I am not kidding... at least they were pretend/ verbal ammunition) you don't get included in the game! Now I grew up in India.. but this is the first time I am observing this difference.. maybe the first time I am taking a close look at the kids!!
Oh well, you do know I am exaggerating don't you? Yes I am... the kids are also such angels who respond every time they are called. And who listen unquestioningly to their parents!! No "Why should I eat that?", "What if I do not?" or "I don't think so" like I get from my little imp! So now I have a cheeky brat who has the American Independence mingled with his already present stubborn streak not to mention the Indian rough edges! So now you know why I cant write the stories yet?
Actually there is more.. no this was not enough excitement for me, returning from a long vacation with a little imp and settling down to the life here. I needed more to keep me occupied.. and I got just that. Oh yes we are moving again. You think that's enough fun? There is more.. we are moving in a week!! Yes I am not kidding.
So now I am getting everything organized.. and breaking out in cold sweat at least a dozen times every day!
The estimator from the moving company came here yesterday... He walked through my house and made elaborate notes and finally gave me an estimate of a fortune.. I am not shipping everything in gold am I? I am hoping it was just that moving company and not every one.. so I have another coming today.. and imagine how the lady who arrives today will gasp when I tell her I need everything out in 4 days? I am going to be dubbed "Crazy Woman" soon!
So why am I boring you with all these details? Oh just my way of spreading some joy.. you can all now be happy in the knowledge of how relaxed your life is!! So now I am moving East.. at least I am not moving countries as we considered doing but gave up in sheer despair of the complexity of the move!! I hope to do that soon though, after all I will soon exhaust every zip code in the US, then I will have to move to newer frontiers!!

Home Again....

He walked in and looked around the room.. not a visible surface. Every surface was covered... piles of clothes books, shopping bags and toys all over the place. "What is this?" he asked. "Just the things we are taking back home with us" she answered.
A while later the piles had disappeared into the bursting at the seams suitcases now filling the room. Later that evening we rushed from store to store in search of a weighing machine.. To weigh and repack and weigh and repack till the final hour when we will have to leave after all. In the process many of the books I had assimilated had to be put back with the promise of "Next Time"... The Cheeky Monkey however was pretty sneaky and all his toys kept appearing back in the suitcases as we kept putting them out when his head was turned! Smart eh? As I unpacked I found that every single toy was accounted for while a couple of my things had gone missing!!!
Oh yes I am back home and back to routine. Except that 3:30 AM this morning saw me wide awake and restless and as I write this I am feeling groggy and disoriented. I have also been eating like a pig this past couple of days.. I do hope this is all just jet lag and I wont tire myself by cooking incessantly for my growling tummy! I do intend to loose all the extra weight I have gained after all.
I would love to blame the jet lag (which by the way I am experiencing for the first time... I have made at least half a dozen trips back and forth and have never had these symptoms!!).. anyway, I was saying I would love to blame it on the geek or the imp.. But no, as they both love to remind me I am to blame. I was the one who inso-maniacally (spell mistake intentional) watched back-to-back Hindi movies on the flight. Well who is to blame for that? I never get enough time on the DVD player at home to catch all the meaningless never ending movies at home!! Anyway I was glad to get off the plane after the never ending flight back home. However, now I am nostalgic for India already.
And now I am back to both my obsessive compulsive disorder of straightening and cleaning all day, interspersed with the other addiction - blogging!!! Cheeky is back to his routine and has been begging to be taken to school.. Being typically male.. India is already in the past for him!! However, India has gotten in his blood and behavior.. more on that later!! I seem to have forgotten how to blog though.. so please bear with me as I re-acquaint myself with the blogging world..
(Pict Courtesy: Suma of Thinking Aloud, Airplane)
Before Signing off.. I have to leave you with this article.. A plane went missing in Bangalore Airport.. this is so hilarious.!!

UPDATE

My Dear dear blogger pals,
I am really touched by how so many of you have written to me asking for an update. I have been doing more visiting and have been out of town all this while. Meanwhile the computer has been fixed and I can visit and write blogs now (YIPEE!!). However, I am going to be busy for yet another week.. my last one in India. After that I sure will be back to active blogging.
Meanwhile just popped in to let you know that all is well. The heat is killing and Nantu fell sick a couple of times. But he is better now! He also had a lovely time with his 4 yr old cousin these past 10 days. It seemed like the two were glued together. I for my share got a lot of hugs and kisses and adulation from my darling niece and nephew!
There was a family function and hence a lovely get-together of the extended family which was good fun. We even had a Mehendi night (it was not a wedding, but who said Mehendi night are only for weddings?) and painted all our hands much to Nantu's amusement. For Nantu the amusement never ceased be it the paint on the floors (Kolam designs) or the palm tattoos (mehendi) and more feeding of cows and goats! This time he even fed a goat with his hand.. daringly. We for our share had endless rounds of card games (Its been years since I last played). Burnt our ears and toungues with more than decent share of gossip. Ate loads of rice, sweets and all kinds of delicacies. With the promise that once we are back home we will have to hit the gym! And the coming week I get to do an even more fun thing .. shopping.. I am already getting dreamy eyed for it. For all you bloggers I have brought back with me some very interesting village tales. Unfortunately I could not take pictures to support the tales like I wanted to. But soon you will see some of them making an appearance here in my blog.
Now I am off to savour my final week of vacation. I will be back after the break to torture you all with my blogs and comments. Till then Chao!!

Chennai Chronicles - Of Hills and Vales

A trotting we will go
A trotting we will go
Heigh Ho the Cherry Ho
A trotting we will go

This time to Ooty from Coimbatore. Ooty the celebrated hill station has always been in the backyard of my hometown. However it never held as much as charm as when I moved away from home. For years now I have been longing to spend a few days in Ooty, and the chance came this time! Ooty has just a handful of sights to see and the trip was over as soon as it began! Also the place was blazing hot and people were walking around with jackets and sweaters much to our amusement! However we had a great time.
The Ooty lake is so small boating in it gets boring in about 10 minutes. But not for Nantu. He wanted to go in the mini train which went on a rockety-rickety trip and back along a straight track. We tried to spruce it up a bit by hooting when we went through a tunnel. But everyone kept a straight face and ignored us! I remember doing this in the Smokeys once on the tram, Nantu and I hooted when the tram jerked and everyone joined us in our merry making! Unfortunately not this time.
Anyway, the next day we were off to Pykara falls and lake. The falls were so beautiful and cool, we hated to leave. We had a fun time splashing around and even got to see some Bison on our way there, as well as some Sheep grazing along the falls. We wanted to go to Mudumalai (Forest renowned for its wild Elephants) next but it was closed for "Fire Season" as they call it. Apparently this time of the year, the dry bamboo stems brush against each other and there are fires in the forest ever so often. So the elephants retreat to the thicker jungles. This was a big disappointment for us, as the forest safari was supposed to be the highlight of the ooty trip!
Spirits restored though, we were off to botanical gardens and some hiking. Most tourists seem to stick to some standard paths and don't venture up the slopes of the garden. But we were eager to move away from the crowd and in search of tranquility and more trees to climb we
ventured farther and farther. Soon we reached a revolving gate and lo behold we were at Toda Mund. A settlement of the toda tribes. Unfortunately our excitement was short lived as we saw the brick houses and very civilized people there! However we got to see their temple and one of the erstwhile huts. They hold the bufallo sacred and worship the pancha pandavas. Also there was a huge stone called the wedding stone, apparently the groom lifts the stone on to his shoulder in order to marry. A lady even obliged us by wearing the traditional garb. We later found out that she was missing the headdress!! Still we were thrilled nevertheless and later directed more aimless wanderers like us to the TodaMund.
Another fun thing about Ooty was the loads of shopping we did for Pashmina (Wool Silk) shawls and Pure Wool Shawls and pretty purses and bags. Why we (my sister and me, oh yes the bext part of shopping - window or otherwise is the company!!) needed so many of them I cannot answer. But the endless shopping did give us a reason to smile. And since then every once in a while, we examine the wares again for a return of the brilliant smile.
However one little gift I brought back from this trip is priceless. Ooty is going green and so are many other cities in south India. Plastics are banned in Ooty. You wont find plastic bags in the stores. They wrap stuff in Paper or give them in cloth bags. I was impressed with this start. Ofcourse there is a long way to go, what with tourists bringing in plastic and further dumping them carelessly on the roads. Also there is no proper mechanism for imposing fines/ punishment. Back in Coimbatore we received a circular saying that throwing away plastic bags was banned there too. I keep harping on the importance of going green. And this approach warmed by heart, the west has something to learn!

I am back in Chennai and will be lying low, staying at home and relaxing for the next couple of weeks, before I go traipsing again. So not much chance of updates from me. Also please remember my inability to check all your blogs at Chennai, am going to work at fixing my weird comp here!

Chennai Chronicles - Change!

I am a nomad as already has been established. But I am very fond of my home land India and the lure has always appealed to me. Yet to satisfy my travel urges I continue to live outside India. However, I have no doubts or misgivings about India's growth and progress. And this fact is re-instated to me every time I return back to India. This time again I can see the changes. Chennai seems to have expanded in all dimensions - become bigger, taller and broader to say the least!!

Every time I come back, a whole metamorphism has conspired in my absence!! This time too there are many such things I have just begun exploring. Years ago one rainy season I remember traversing the Old Mahabalipuram Road and wishing I had a boat instead of a car. The potholed road held sudden surprises for us besides the flooding of the road itself!
Today Old Mahabalipuram Road is a sight to see. The road has become broad and smooth. All the erstwhile potholes are long gone and the road is being beautified to have green medians and lovely looking bus stops! Not to mention the big hotels, apartments and IT Hubs that have appeared splattered all through the IT Corridor

Venture into the city though and I feel so lost... I used to know Chennai like the back of my hand, and zip by on my scooty many years back. Today all my regular routes are -ways and I find myself frequently disoriented in my attempt to paint the town red!
However there is nothing at all that is not available. From Fisher Price toys to Quesadilla's and Margaritas everything is readily available if you can pay the price! I visited City Center and stood in awe like a villager at all its splendor!
I packed my bags for the first train journey this trip and entered the Egmore railway station. The numerous helpers in India have always held an appeal to me. And I kept talking about hiring a porter to cart all the boxes to the train. Imagine my surprise when I saw escalators zipping up and down. However at the base of the escalator we encountered a porter. I remember my erstwhile trips to Egmore where I haggled with him and he always had the upper hand. Knowing fully well that we are going to have to use him. I would part with atleast a 100 bucks or more every time. This time the guy was willing to do it for next to nothing. I will do it for 20 bucks he said. I was very tempted to give it to him.. poor guy!

As I landed back in Chennai, I haggled with an auto wala to take me home and as expected he started off with atrocious prices. I called my uncle to ask him what the reasonable price was. And he educated me about the Volvo A/C Buses now plying across Chennai. These look so wonderful that now I need to take a trip just to experience the joy ride! We took a regular bus though, at Nantu's request. It was his first bus trip and turned out to be fun early in the morning with none of Chennai's hustle and bustle! We also made an auto trip also at Nantu's request. However in a few minutes the breeze and rocking put the li'l ruffian to sleep, so I was left alone to enjoy the sights and smells of Chennai!
Another experience of note was an evening at one of the oldest clubs in Chennai - The Gymkhana Club. The ambience and food was simply superb and we had a relaxing meal and uninterrupted gupshap (conversation) thanks to Uncle S. The club retains all of its old splendor and traditions, which include a strict no to photography. So my armor the camera was rendered useless there. But then we had a lovely time nevertheless and that was a lovely end to a busy shopping day at Chennai!
However, some things never change in Chennai and the familiarity they represent is strangely comforting - the heat, the traffic and the bustling city. But as bad as it sounds, these are the things that make Chennai what it is and I wont change a thing about it!! (Oh well, I take that back.. If only I could turn down the heat a bit!!)

Chennai Chronicles - Panguni Thirunal

The highlight of the trip to the village was the Panguni Utsavam. Every Panguni (Tamil calendar month - Last month in the tamil year - March 15th through April 15th), in the temple of Mahara Nedun Kuzhai Kadhar at Thenthiruperai a small village on the banks of Tamarabrani river, a festival is celebrated in full splendor. The festival starts on Panguni Uthram (tamil star) and goes on for the next 10 days.
Among all Vaishnava temples, the most celebrated are 106 Thirupathis (108 in all, 2 of which are believed to be in/on the way to Heaven) across the Indian Peninsular. One among these these is Thenthiruperai. The God there is MaharaNedunKuzhai Kadhar (The one with the ornamental Maharam on his Ear).
During the Panguni Utsavam, Lord Kuzhai Kadhar appears on the streets in a different vahanam every night. It ends with a trip on the Theru (Chariot). We were at Thenthiruperai for 5 of these days. Starting from the second day. Here are some pictures!

(Simha Vahanam - Lion)(Hanuman Vahanam)(Thanga Thozhi Kinnam - Golden Cup)
(Sesha Vahanam - Cobra)

(God on Garuda Vhanam and Goddess on Anna Vhanam - Vulture and Swan)

Nantu had a blast watching the God from our doorstep every evening. I looked every part of the photographer with a still and video camera hanging from my neck. It was a true village experience with loads of unsolicited advice on taking photographs. However unlike the city people moved out of the way to give me room to take pictures. And they did so for all the half a dozen or so people with cameras. It was a real fun experience, and we were sorry to leave before the end of the festival and miss the theru (Chariot)! However, we had to return and Nantu shifted all his enthusiasm to the train journey back home to Chennai.
We are already on our next trip. This time to Coimbatore my home town... for some fun and frolic and a lot of relaxation! We had a hail storm on our first night here and our first tryst with Indian never ending power failures where the UPS finally ran out of charge and spluttered off!! However, just the fact that I am home makes me forgive the EB and mother nature for ruining my first evening here! Looking forward to more adventures here!!

Chennai Chronicles - South bound!

[Note: I am unable to access any blogspot pages from my home in Chennai. It is very strange but true. I can make new posts but I cant read or respond to comments. I am also missing out on all your wonderful blogs!! Hope to get this rectified soon.. meanwhile here is the next post in my India Chronicles!]
Last week we ventured further south into the interiors of Tamil Nadu. The land of the beautiful temples and lush green fields. It was such a relief to see the green fields after the concrete jungle called Chennai. Unfortunately it was not a good time for the farmers. The rains lashing through Tamil Nadu (South India) have destroyed their crops and livelihood. So it was with bereft tales of the farmers that we were greeted at our destination. But that did not abate our merriment in meeting relatives. Nantu was off to meet his paternal grand mom, aunts, uncles and cousins.
He saw the real India of the villages.

With long one-roomed houses and livestock roaming the roads. People with bare bodies walking bare footed all around. Indian Toilets and Power failures. Every day there was something new to see and learn. He saw a roadside toy seller with colorful wares to sell. He saw a river in full spate and experienced the true heat and humidity of southern India. It was a very eye-opening experience and very exciting too.

The first two days were marred (though that helped the temperature) by heavy downpour. On the third day the skies cleared and the sun was beaming again. Shining strongly and dissipating all its heat on the two unsuspecting souls - Cheeky Brat and Silly Mom! Nantu however adjusted to the new setting with little protest. He was excited to see so many relatives and meet his cousins. And all the adjustments paled against this!

And then there were visitors of another nature. There was the elephant that visited our doorstep. Nantu stood in awe of the size. While he stood and watched the elephant with eager eyes, he refused to hand the elephant bananas (pazham) and seek its blessing as is customary. However, this experience left him emboldened.

Later that day when a cow decided to make an appearance at our doorstep, it was greeted by an eager Nantu with a boisterous "Hello"! He then ran to his grand mom and said "Patti Banana Venum" (I want a banana). His grand mom was so happy that he would deign to eat the banana he had refused to touch all these days. As I watched silently, the banana was laid in front of the cow by Cheeky and his co-conspirator (an older cousin). The cow was delighted and gulped down the banana. As you can imagine, soon there was a family of cows at the doorstep all of them eating bananas which was supplied by Nantu and his unsuspecting Patti. When Patti finally found out, the bananas were packed away and the cows shooed off from the doorstep which was by then beginning to look like a barn!

There were down moments too. Nantu refused to step down in the temples at most times. Sometimes the ground was yucky, sometimes messy and sometimes Icky/ Sticky! And when I put him down forcefully, he stood balanced on my feet hugging my legs! When the power cut happened the first time Nantu bewildered asked "Amma where did all the bright go?" The next time he knew what it was, and I urged him to pray to God. After every prayer he stopped to ask, "Amma why wont God send the light back?". The staple food in the village was Idli and Rice much to Nantu's annoyance! I had to get creative with the menu. Thankfully, my sister in law brought in some supplies that got us through! Back at Chennai though, rice and idli evoke violent reactions and have therefore been banned from the menu for the time being!

Overall the trip was a great success.. the highlight being the Panguni Thirunal (Festivities in the month of Panguni) celebrated at the temple of the residing deity Mahara Nedun Kuzhai Kadhar. More on that and pictures in my next post.

Chennai Chronicles - On the road

K3 asked in her comment to my previous post about Nantu's reaction to car rides in Chennai. The discussion started back in Colorado. The plan was to bring the booster seat along with us. Nantu uses a steering wheel back home to do some back seat driving! When asked he refused to bring the steering wheel with him to India. In the last minute the booster was forgotten too. And it was with dread that I landed here. The first ride went off in complete excitement of meeting his aunt and grand dad. The booster and seat belt was forgotten.
Next stage in the reaction was refusal to sit in the front or alone at the back. I had to wear the seat belt with him on my lap.. slowly I moved him to the front occassionally still strapped in on my lap. Now that too has passed and he sits in the back on his own and has resumed back seat driving. Now his driving is interspersed with beeps and Bhams!!! At first his reaction to horns was complete bewilderement. Now he says "Naan safe aa horn adichukaren" (I am honking safely). The road experience while surprising has been fun for him... So there another stress off my list. However walking on the roads is the biggest challenge. I have to pick him up and cart him around in my arms all the time. Mostly due to my fear of the traffic and pot holes.. and is turning to be quite an experience!
Overall I have found that so far all my fears have been baseless. Except food wise. He promised me that he would eat rice for all meals, but then that is probably too much to expect. Rice has now been banned from his menu again. And now that there are no quesadillas and mac and cheese or the cans of pasta... it has been a rough ride. However we are taking well to the Indian substitutes.. Cheese Parata, Sunfeast cheese pasta, dosa and of course the staple bread! So even there we are doing alright!!
Meeting people of course is the biggest treat for Cheeky. More and more relatives and friends who are willing to listen to his non stop banter and load him with gifts and toys much to my dismay! There is now an ever growing pile of things to take back to Colorado. I for my part am shopping too for paintings and I reluctantly leave behind all the lovely brass and clay artifacts at the various hand loom exhibitions I frequent!! Every time I buy something I tell myself I can gift it to someone but between the shop and home I find I have changed my mind and decided to keep it for myself! So far I haven't bought a single thing I want to part with!! At this rate I can imagine how the packing for the return trip is going to be!
I am back from my short trip... will list the experiences in my next post. Nantu's tryst with Indian temples, trains and buses coming up. As well as his adventures with the Indian Petting Zoo! All in my next post!

Chennai Chronicles - Becoming Chennai-Vasi

Nantu is making inroads into becoming a Chennai-Ite! I thought he will take to the change rather roughly... but not at all.. the minute he landed he was off to the arms of his aunt and granddad and I wasn't even spared a backward glance. More often than not I am forgotten these days. The iron walla and "Taxi Dude" are greeted with a "Hi" and when they fail to ask the follow up questions, still get the reply "I am good"! (Uh!!) The shy kid I knew in Denver is long gone and here is an eager, exuberant chatterbox who wants to talk to everyone on the road.
The other day his granddad stood outside talking to some neighbor. And Nantu stood next to him. The neighbor made the mistake of striking a conversation with Cheeky.
"So did you fly here" he asked!
"How can I fly, The plane flew I just sat in the plane" came the reply!
"Really the plane flies" he asked
"Yes the plane flies that is why it is called flight" came the reply! Whew.. I did not think of that!! Cheeky of course lost no time in informing the neighbor all he knew about planes. And went on to describe every book he has read on planes. The poor neighbor was forced to listen to the non-stop chatter!
The neighbor not to be outdone, made another stab at coming out of this sounding smart "You know big birds fly like a plane they don't flap their wings" he said
"That is an imaginary bird" said Cheeky after some thought! That silenced the Neighbor, poor man! He obviously doesn't know 3 yr old's! Nantu was talking about the Big Bird in Sesame Street by the way. Now he knows all about Eagles and Kites thanks to an over-enthusiastic mother!

And then he went on a play date with my cousin's kid! He had a swell time there! My cousin's kid goes to one of the best schools in Chennai and speaks lovely English. He is also 3. So Nantu was really excited with his new found friend, he could also converse comfortably with! The little boy lets call him Pesky shall we? For that he is.. an Adorable Pesky Brat!! Pesky is a true blooded Chennai-ite. We were in awe to see him ride his bicycle. He can go through all sorts of gaps, turn in the obscure places, Ride one handed, make difficult turns and of course go at a head spinning pace. Cheeky on the other hand had to stop every once in a while. And if he dashed against something stop and estimate damages. Tell Pesky how to ride "Don't dash, No Crashing, ride Slowly" and then slowly start the cycle again, slow down at every turn! We had good fun laughing at these two brats! The contrast between them was such good fun to see!

However the Chennai heat is finally here.. and I am finally getting sane and deciding to stay indoors. Still the temptation to go to every sweet shop and chaat place is too much! We have also been visiting temples that Cheeky finds very strange. He had to take off his shirt at one temple. "Mom don't take my clothes off" he whined. And then insisted I carry him all the time and held on to my dupatta (shawl type cloth worn with the traditional Salwar Kameez) in utter dismay!

I had my first run in with the telephone company here. And amazingly things seem to have changed with the privatisation and the inset of competition. The lady I spoke to over the phone is an Assistant Engineer at Telephones. She was so courteous and assisted me so patiently and solved the issue without any delay. I was pleasantly surprised! There is sign of progress everywhere. In the couple of years that I have been away there has been so much more development. I am so excited!!

I am off on another little adventure next week.. Will be back with an update after that.

Chennai Chronicles - The journey home

Oh yes we are home.. what a lovely word isn't it HOME! Just the feeling of getting down on the tarmac in humid Chennai with the unmistakable stench of sweat was a nice feeling! I know I make it sound gross, but seriously what is it about the sticky air and the wafting stinks that gives you the sense of belonging that nothing else can? I am jumping for joy like Tigger below.

(Pict Courtesy: http://www.ezthemes.com)

The trip in itself was quite a nightmare. Air traffic control played villain by delaying my start at Colorado. The customer care centers were first closed and the only open one had a mile long queue which would just not move. At the next stop I rushed out the plane while yelling frantically about my connecting flight to anyone that would hear and to some that wouldn't! Only to find out I had to exchange boarding passes as the one I had won't work (Uh?). I then found out that my ticket itself wont work as it was exchanged (??) A frantic phone call to the travel agent and later a swipe on the credit card had me hopping on the plane 30 minutes late. Yes I set a record by holding up a plane for my royal arrival! The rest of the journey as they say is history!

But finally the final prize of all... landing home! All the worries and trials in getting here has been forgotten .. just the sweet ending remains. And what a welcome. Its cooled down in our honor. Its been pouring in Chennai and we are having wonderful weather mostly!! I feel as though all this has been done just for me!

And now I must stop lazing around, and start calling the few thousand relatives and friends. And then the biggest whirlwind of visiting all of them. But before that a dreamy sigh to say I AM HOME!! Meanwhile Nantu has been directing his chatter in every direction but mine these past few days.. and there are so many eager ears to listen to his non-stop entertainment. He is turning into a radio that just wont turn off! Oh God I get to take him back with me in a couple of months.. and then where will I be?

A quick note to say all is well, and that I have seen the tags some of you sent my way! I will get to them soon! Meanwhile I will be lurking around in the blogger world for sure!! :)

Parenting Diaries - Handling the tantrums

Oh yes I am back with part 2 of Parenting Diaries. As all parents of toddlers know the tantrums are here and back again and we have by now learnt to live with them.

And each of us have perfected our style of handling the tantrums. But these tantrums show us something ugly sometimes. Like this kid who was having a tantrum at Nantu's school the other day. She told her teacher "I want to kill you". The teacher was shocked and so was I. When the initial shock and fear had passed out of my system, I grew rational. The kid probably did not even know what she was saying. She was just having a fit of anger and she probably said what she had heard someone else saying at that time. More reason to watch what they hear! (Pict Courtesy: www.childrenofthenewearth.com)

How I handle this personally is to invite open discussion. Every afternoon Nantu and I sprawl on the bed and talk. I prompt him to talk about school and friends and the shows he watches on TV. This way I understand how he perceives the world. I am forewarned on the language he picks up or the habits! And I gently correct him. And teach him good from bad!

I learnt this from my mother. She encouraged us to talk to her and the result, every time I learnt a bad word or even the time when I learnt about the truth of birds and bees; I talked to her about it! As time went by she turned out to be my best friend. And that is what I try to be to Nantu as well. His Best Friend! To this end, sometimes it is good to just listen and not be judgmental or adult about it!

Now about the tantrums. We all know that temper tantrums are unbelievably common and every child has these emotional outbursts. Temper tantrums need to be handled with a cool head. What has seemed to help in my household is calming down.

When Nantu was younger a distraction seemed to help. And I would remove him from the source of the tantrum. Or the location of the tantrum. For example if the tantrum happens at a mall, we drop everything and head for the car. Soon he learns that he stands to lose by the tantrum and stops!

At home, I have Nantu go to his room and finish crying. I never ask him to stop crying. I believe he needs to get him out of his system. I tell him "Go finish crying for as long as you want. When you are done come to me and we will talk". Once he has had time to calm down, invariably he is ready to listen to reason. At this point I usually have him tell me what the problem was, what he did wrong and what he should have done instead. Then I have him apologize and immediately after everything is forgotten and I give him a big hug and tell him how much I love him.

If the tantrum is triggered by hunger or sleep as they most likely are. I hold him till he is calm without saying a word, let him have a good cry. And then proceed to attack the root cause. After the food or a good night's sleep, reason prevails but not before!

But there are times when nothing works and he can't stop crying himself or he just can't calm down. After all he is a kid. Then I drop all reason and hug him and coddle him or tease him and tickle him till all is well again.

All children are unique. But my attempt here is to share some experiences and gain from your experiences. This way we can all be better parents! Please do share how you handle tantrums.

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Writer's Island Poem available at Creative Outbursts - Dear Son - From a Mother's Heart
Sunday's scribblings inspired Post available at Confessions of a closet geek - My Experiments With Truth - MK Gandhi

And now a true vacation begins. I will be holding still for a while, I promise. I will keep you updated though.