Thursday, June 18, 2009

Chicken Monkey Shoes

I was randomly whiling away time while I sat rooted to my PC. Looking to the rest of the world like I had something important to do. The glasses perched precariously on my nose and the slight crinkle on my forehead, not to mention the grim faced mouth and the straight back completed the picture! As I checked my emails (yeah I have not 1, not 2 but 3 email accounts.. the rest I am not revealing), checked face book and orkut again for the non existent messages. Do these people know I exist? When all the status messages scream for attention and no one bothers to respond, you are in big trouble! Maybe I should say I am hanging off a cliff and see if people care to respond to that?

Anyway, so there is not much to do on the social networking sites if your 164 + 87 (account for some repeats) and counting friends do not respond to your desperate call for attention. And I am so tired of playing all the word games that FB (aah I am learning the lingo...) has to offer! So I decided to read my blog yet again. I installed the Feedjit live traffic feed and look red faced when it keeps popping up Charlotte NC for every other entry!! But if I don't go back and read my blog (at least 20 times a day) then who else would right? So I unabashedly was back again reading the old entries.

For those of you who read me know that very I can be found often on the periphery of sanity.. what with my overactive imagination and a God who (I am often found asking "Are you mocking me?" ) uses me for comic relief! I might have mentioned it in the past, but if I haven't here are a few samples!

I was the chosen one.. I cut my tendon on a regular kitchen knife which every woman (and the occasional man.. I mention that so I am not accused of being chauvinist.. but if you are married and live in the real world, you sure have a touch with reality.. anyway that is the topic for another day) across the world uses everyday. While many of you would recognize this as yet another testimony to my culinary expertise, I was merely surprised (or like M would put it I had the audacity to be "surprised" after cutting my left thumb inches deep). Anyway, the point of this story is I was the one the big Almighty chose to bestow this blessing on. And the icing on the cake, M was having (or at least pretending very convincingly to have) a crisis at work which took him away at 6 AM only to return at 11 PM.. maybe he was just avoiding his "disabled" wife? I will never know. (just wait till he comes home tonight.. something is about to explode... and that something may be my head!) But there was cherry on the icing too a 1.5 yr old toddler who had to stop to talk to every moving thing on the road be it a human or a dog or a car! And every stranger was updated on my entire life history starting from my already forgotten profession to my butter fingers accident! And I must mention that all this transpired when he hardly knew a word of English. Where was I? In the background of course trying to renounce all knowledge of this little imp who was aiming to make me squirm, looking on helplessly with blue casing wrapped hand "Slightly raised above chest level"!

And then there was the time when I decided to take the toddler half way across the world, I reached half point of my journey and promptly got stranded.. and the airline clerk when I reached him through the "lines are busy" message had the audacity to tell me a mother no less that I would have to remain stranded for 3 days and explore London. If this had come at me a couple of years before, I would have said oh well what the heck and toured London.. but I was not willing to do that toddler in tow! No even I am not that brave (I can hear the sniggers at the "even I".. I will choose to ignore that!). The airline clerk and the rest of his colleagues had to face the wrath of the stranded mother when she walked in demanding she be let out of their beautiful city. They packed her and the talkative toddler on the next flight out, let alone the fact that it was not going to their destination country. Who cares, as long as the lady was out of sight they were safe...

And then there was the time I decided to do the journey in reverse this time with a 3 year old. Billions of travelers, millions of travel agents and I had to be the chosen one again. My competent travel agent messed up the tickets so that Cheeky had 2 tickets (while I can understand the reasoning behind that.. after all imps have to jump from one seat to another you see) and I had none. And when did I have to find out, already miles away from home, 30 minutes before boarding the international flight at the check in counter OF COURSE! And wait there is the icing of course.. and that is a backpack of toys the only possessions in hand, light summer clothes on us, the wind swirling up the snow outside and the clock strikes "MIDNIGHT"!

And what was my friend GOD doing on all these different occasions? Laughing I am sure.. remember I told you I was his comic relief? This is not Blasphemy.. the God and I have a good thing going.. he toys with me and I call him out!! Where is your sense of humor?

Anyway... I can see you going.. "Will you get to it already?" yeah I know I have a tendency to run off with my words.. So back to why I have bored you with my long narration. If you remember I was talking about my attempt to while away time. And how that led me to blogger , only this time instead of reading my old posts as always, I popped into my profile and asked blogger to give me a question that I could answer. While many bloggers get decent questions like

"What spells can you cast on a magic marker?"

or

"Your hand has been replaced by a rubber stamp, what does it say?"

or even

"Never mind the turtle, don't you think you are sure to win?"

But when I requested a question I had to get "Chicken Monkey Shoes", and its not even a real sentence! And oh just wait.. here comes the icing.. I am supposed to write the answer in just 400 words.. Chicken Monkey Shoes indeed! Needless to say my blogger profile still appears question-less! I am sure you wil now agree with me when I say... I AM COMIC RELIEF to a guy up there for sure! But my mission has been accomplished, I have spent a good part of my morning typing up this rant looking for the rest of the world like I am rapidly racing against a deadline! HAHAHA! (that was my sinister last laugh)

15 comments:

Rambler said...

glad you wrote this post, I used to wonder I am the only one who reads earlier posts on my own blog

rayshma said...

if you think feedjit is addcitive, get that darned flag counter. apparently, someone from lithuania came to my space. yeah, right! bloody scam, i tell you!!!

and erm.. this post reminded me... i haven't replied to ur mesg on FB! :D HAHAHAHAA... and i tried to go and locate and reply before commenting here... but erm... i can't find it!!!!!

irrespective.. u're gonna get a mail from me. NOW! on the only id i have! *hah! scampers off as you frantically chk all ids! :D*

Preethi said...

Rambler - Dont worry.. I am sure you have plenty of company!
Reshma - Got the email and replied.. flag counter? you sure are blog savvy.. I keep getting interested in spurts and then it wanes off.. kind of like a sinusoidal wave in geeky terms.. now off to check on the Ids!

Sandhya said...

Great to hear I have company, for lack of comments on blog I keep reading and amusing my own self :-)

VJ said...

You have lot of inforgettable experiences lady !!!
have fun !

--xh-- said...

:) am back and you can be sure of one more regular reader :)

FB - i never got the hang of that place... did you try twitter? try it out, it is fun and addictive...

Preethi said...

Sandhya - haha...join the club ;)
VJ - yeah comic relief remember
XH - Welcome back. I am pretty much lost on FB too.. but its good to keep in touch! Twitter is another story. I have an account and a dozen of followers too.. why they follow me I have no clue, for I never have anything to say!! boring me!!

Suma said...

hahahaha..that was hilarious.


the feedjit is damn scary i tell you...it does the same thing to me; that's why it is hidden all the way at the bottom of my blog where only i can see.

i get interested in spurts..right now i've hardly been to FB so forgive me if i haven't replied to your updates :p

Pavi!!!! said...

its so good to go back n read ur own posts no?? ya ya ! i do it too..wat to do with all the time no?
i remem reading abt the butter fingers but my o my..u seems to have had some crazzzy travels! Bravo preeti!

Prats said...

I must say, you run an interesting life indeed.!! And added to the drama, you have cheeky to give you some funtimes...I just love the life and its stories...

Aryan said...

You are such a positive fun loving lady...I am your follower yaar...
need to learn lot from you
Aryan's Mom

Sumana said...

Socially networked still left off. What a coincidence on you getting Chicken monkey shoes. I loved all the icings on the cake. No am not laughing but giggling away. Had agreat read.

Mama - Mia said...

hahaha!!

thats the reason i am not even trying to add widgets like live stat counters!! hehe!

and find me on FB! i swear i will comment on your msgs! am totally jobless! :p

and maybe you should have converted the question to cheeky monkey shoes?! ;)

cheers!

abha

Preethi said...

Suma - forgiven!! :) Last week I was trying to do some organizing of my blog and feedjit ran so wild, I finally removed it :P
Pavi - Yeah I have had a crazy life.
Prats - All in the game right.. Being a mom has its uses!!{wink}
AM - Hahaha... ask M who lives with me.. he may not agree :)
Sumana - hahaha .. thanks:)

Preethi said...

Abha - Found you on Facebook girl :D Now you can respond to my comments :D