Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Relatively speaking....

Nantu has a new obsession ... Relatives.
And it doesnt suffice to tell him how they are all related to him. He needs to know how they are related to me, to DH and to each other.
For example.. he will tell us who DH's mom is .. who her sister is ... who her mother is and how he,we should refer to them. Also how they should refer to each other!!
He can even list all of my grandmom's children...
I started out being amused!
He would ask me
"Amma how come you have so many cousins,while I have only 2"
"Amma how come you have 4 mama's (maternal uncles) while I have none"
"Amma how come both you and daddy have a sister when I have no sister"
Also when we talked to everyone in India he calls them by the correct mode of address and makes sure he inquires about everyone in the household/ city that he knows of!! He will also try and talk to everyone of these people. Recently on one such occassion he asked DH .." How come Athimber (SIL's husband) doesn't talk to me at all. I need to talk to him." Luckily he was at home and Nantu could talk to his heart's content!
The amusement has now turned to guilt. We live so far away from home that our chidren miss out on having the big extended family that we had!! Also as against our parents we had very few siblings.. now this generation has just one maybe if any!! The family is getting really nuclear... I had hoardes of cousins. Nantu has just 2 who he hardly ever meets. I was lamenting on this to my SIL recently. Nantu is soon going to meet his cousins this summer after almost 2 years.. and he will get to spend 1 maybe 2 weeks with them!! I am feeling guilt ridden again...

7 comments:

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Lovely..A child wants to know the family tree and keep in touch too.encourage..we get far too insulated from relatives to the point of losing out on many things..but too much of it also has its own disadvantages..so optimise !!
TC
CU

Sumana said...

it is really amazing as to how nantu keeps track of all the relatives. All the relatives must be overjoyed to hear him talk. It is a great habit. My daughter who turned 3 today, can relate to only her grandparents well. I am trying to inculcate the same habit, but being geographically so far, it is tough. Good going nantu.
Sumana

Fuzzylogic said...

I am amazed at how the little guy is being so thoughtful. They all must be thrilled to bits talking to Nantu.Being far I too take similar guilt trips every other day too. It's as if the things we took for granted as we were growing up is something perhaps our kids will grow up being deprived of. As of now only calls and photos are her connect to that family I keep telling her about.
Pass on a big hug to the little guy!
By the way you are tagged!!

Thinking aloud said...

you are so lucky to hav enantu so curious about his relatives...knock on wood...that is one my guilts that both the boys are never going to know that special bond which huge families share :(

Preethi said...

CU - Yeah I agree with you.. I have seen some of the disadvantages first hand.. I have a really close extended family all of whom love to interfere in my life... :) I actually enjoy this, although I never listen.. but DH who has been independent all his life has a tough time coping with it!!
Sumana - Yeah it is so amazing isnt it... As for your Daughter... I bet next time she visits India she will learn all their names and relate to them.. Like I said the reason is that I have a very close extended family.. I talk to my uncles/aunts/ cousins fairly regularly.
FL - Yeah they are all so thrilled... and proud!! Passing on the hug!!:)
TA - Thanks for the knock on wood.. doing it myself!

DotMom said...

I remembered this post :) very cute!

Neera said...

Wow!! Such a loving and caring child! Hugs and God bless!