Friday, January 4, 2008

Boys will be boys!!

Nantu told me the night before last before he hit the bed .. Mommy I played housekeeping in school today. Last morning.. I grilled him on what this "house keeping" was...
In his words There is a toy kitchen in our school.. It has pretend food, I ate m***** (that made no sense to me, but I dint stop him), B ate Orange Cake and C ate Muffins
Me:
How lovely, did you guys cook too?
Nantu :
No T cooked.
T is a girl and I was smarting at the chauvinistic attitude Nantu was taking. Or was it that?
Me : Why dint you, B and C cook
Nantu:
T cooked, we ate!
Me:
Will you cook tomorrow.
Nantu:
No I will play with cars tomorrow.
uh uh!!! This conversation brought to mind something I read a few months back... On boys and girls.. I had also written a post on this a few months back. Who teaches these kids on what to play with? Why do boys play with cars and girls with Barbie? I never taught Nantu any of this!! Or did I unconsciously do just that? I bought him a fairy tales book when he was a baby ... but he refuses to listen to those stories.... still he loves to listen to jungle book or Bambi or robin hood. Why is that?
When Nantu was a baby I brought all my stuffed toys from my parents home. He ignored them till he was about 1 (He had a couple of favorites, the rest dint get any time of the day!). When he turned 1, he stuffed all of them in his erstwhile cradle and loved to pull them out and stuff them back in. My SIL's kid when she visited would rock them to sleep.. but Nantu refused to even imitate her... at one year mind you!! I am sure we never told him what to do with them.
(Look at him in the picture ready to land a punch!!!)
Later... when I came to US.. I dint buy him any stuffed toys (what was the point anyway)... Once when I was buying a cute stuffed dog for a relatives kid, Nantu expressed his desire to own one.. I immediately obliged. Since then he has a few stuffed toys.. of different kinds of animals.. sometimes the dog named fluffy .. gets a hug. but the others they get arranged and rearranged... but no hugs or taking them to bed!!
Where did this come from? I wonder! I might have understood, if Nantu had exhibited these strong preferences once he started school, but at one year? Recently we were shopping for Nantu's cousin... He wants to buy Barbie for her. I asked him if we can buy her a car, but he wont hear of it!!

Cars are for boys mom he says.. Girls like Barbie.
But why???!!! Is my son growing to be a little macho-ist?
I asked him:Why cant girls play with cars... We do drive cars.
Nantu Replied:
OK lets get her that pink Barbie jeep
Oh well... like Nantu says "Unnaku onnum theriyadhu amma, naan solli tharen" (You know nothing mommy, let me teach you) I don't know anything do I? What do you think, where does all this come from?

16 comments:

DotMom said...

what a coincidence..I just did a post on this today, opened my reader and saw yours!!!!!!! Mone is the exact opposite..

rayshma said...

oh don't worry abt it too much... u can groom off d chauvinism when he's old enuf to understand it...
i, personally never played with dolls! didn't even touch the ones gifted to me by arbit relatives! but i loved stuffed toys *still do, actly!* but only collecting them, not playing with them! hehehe!

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Well said nantu..What exactly he said was you will not UNDERSTAND (puriyadu )Men think differently illiyaa..Whats that,,Men are from mars and .....So Nantu only conveyed that...He He He...I only interpreted,now pls dont run after me with whatever in your hand....escape(Some spice or oorgai for the discussion thats all !!)
TC
CU

Rambler said...

sorry I found nantu's reactions too funny to actually say what I wanted to on this topic, may be some other post :)

btw I can assure you one thing though, the attitude changes, hard to believe but true, in many cases for good.

Thinking aloud said...

welcome mam to teh world of boys...imagine me in a world of 3 ...sadly in danger of becoming extinct..there are times when i dress up with bindi et all and they lok at me as if i am an alien - not the hubby tho :)

read this...http://cubbytales.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-son-says.html

2 B's mommy said...

I don't know either but I have observed that with my children too - Bunty always played with cars when he was little ( actually he still does !) whereas Bubbly never even looked at them.

Preethi said...

Dot mom - Read your post... when will we begin to understand these little minds??
Rayshma - Oh well.. our generation is so different from the next.. did we think so independently when we were 2 or 3? I bet when he grows up Nantu will be teaching me a thing or two!!
CU - You always do like to support Nantu or DH dont you.. and yes you are right... Men are from Mars and we are from Venus.. Ennaku Puriyadu thaan!! :P
Rambler - Fat chance... that it changes... but if it tones down.. I will be happier!!
TA - Oh I do pity you Suma.. I am almost there though!!! Going to your post now!
2BM - Its really amazing isnt it??

Aryan said...

Oh no so lovely cute nanthu..telling mom that you don't know anything...
Even Aryan is behind Cars, rather than dolls..He sleeps holding car in his hands..
Boys are boys...
Aryan's mom

Prats said...

Cute one from Nantu. But it'll change if they live in a community which has kids of both genders living. Though my older one frowns at anything girlie...the other kids mingle well, and play both with cars, house house, ets....

Preethi said...

Beautiful template... loved the butterfly pic with pollens et al :)
My daughter is 3mnths and 3 yrs too. She never played with stuffed toys until she was about 2yrs old. But was vroooming her red car! i was uh-uhoing!. Later i realised 1st yr is not the age for stuffed toys!
But to prove ur point tho' a research with 2 rooms was set. Boys with barbie toys. Girls with cars, trucks and guns. Guess what...boys broke one of barbie's leg..made a gun out of it and went bang bang bang! Girls arranged the cars in order. Mama car...dada car...and baby guns!! sigh all the way some things don't change...

Hip Grandma said...

Long back when my son was a year old I took him to a friend's place where another mother arrived with her daughter.Both children were wearing rompers so one could not really make out which of them was a boy.In fact the little girl had very short hair and ny son was sporting a pony tail because we hadn't offered his hair at our family temple and could not cut it off.A third person whom I did not even know asked me how old my 'son' was.I asked her in jest how she understood that he was a boy.She pointed out that the little girl was playing with dolls ever since she came but my son would not even go near dolls No one had noticed it till then.He was just a year old and was already showing his preference.Howz that?

Preethi said...

Aryan - Wow sleeping with cars eh?? Nantu used to do that too.. and has been asking for the Lightning McQueen Pillow, huggable toy.. I refuse to buy yet another car.. even his bed is in the shape of a car!!
Prats - Since childhood Nantu has had mostly girls as his playmates... unfortunately this li'l master makes them plays with cars and teaches them about pink and blue!!
Preethi - Wow.. your dauther is 3.3 too.. we should be sharing a lot of trials.. thanks for sharing the research.. very interesting!!
HG - Very interesting... Nantu used to look like a girl too when he was 1.. so much that I cut his hair before his mottai ... still when I went to the store the sales people would show me frocks!!!!

kodi's mom said...

I have some thoughts on this, but didn't post them. mine behaves like dotmom's - gravitates toward feminine things (like makeup) but prefers trucks over dolls. like you I haven't enforced any gender based sterotypes yet - at least not consciously. I think it has to do partly nature, partly nurture. if he loves to play cook at home, he'll probably continue that in school. unlikely that he has already categorized that as a 'female' activity. but interestng to see his reactions, esp, his settling for pink barbie jeep...lol!

Preethi said...

KM - I read you!!! So many others commented on how their kids showed preferences at 1. And you said it.. we don't encourage gender stereo types consciously.. having said that.. we / society do it unconsciously.. Both Chip and Kodi will slowly give up their love for pink and start gravitating towards the blue/ trucks.. you just watch...
Nantu tells me ... amma boys wear chapstick... girls wear lipstick.. the other day I tried applying some of my lip guard on him.. (we were out, and that was all I had on me) and Nantu was so upset... it left me wondering why he thinks its taboo? This is not nature.. he seems to feel strongly about this!! I wonder where he gets it!!

Sumana said...

Hey preethi,
Nantu is too little to be called a chauvinist. My girl who is 3 plays with cars and thomas trains all the time till date. It was just yesterday, i saw her combing the hair of a doll and she named her barbie.

Preethi said...

Sumana, Thats an interesting point you make.. when girls play with cars and trains.. all we do say is "she is such a tom boy" and that somehow is accepted! Yet when a boy plays with dolls, we (I) tend to re-assure the mother that this must be a "Temporary Phase"!! Hypocritical ..
Btw, so glad you tiny is now taking pleasure in dolls.. I could join her!!